Speaker 1: 0:01

Welcome everybody. Today I want to have a preview for the long series of episodes that we're about to enter into. I'm calling the series Raising Resilient Kids, emotional Development and Co-Parenting. I'm pretty excited about this podcast series. I think if you're a co-parent, a parent or just really someone who's passionate about helping children grow into emotionally healthy, resilient adults, this series is going to have something for you. In this episode, I'm going to talk with you about what this series is about, how it's structured, the experts we're going to be relying on and their research, and how this can be helpful and how this can be helpful.

Speaker 1: 0:51

So, first, what the series is about. So, essentially, this series is about helping you better understand your child's emotional development so that you can support them in becoming resilient, emotionally intelligent and secure. This is especially important in a co-parenting context. This series is going to focus on two key themes. The first is the science of emotional development. So we're going to talk about how a child's brain develops, starting even before birth, through early childhood and beyond. You'll learn how the emotional brain works and how your actions as a parent or co-parent can help shape your child's future. Second, we're going to get into practical parenting and co-parenting strategies, keeping this science in mind, we're going to talk about how to apply the knowledge that we're getting into real life parenting situations, with a special emphasis on co-parenting dynamics. This is really more than just talking about co-parenting dynamics. This is really more than just talking about co-parenting. It's a guide to how to build deeper emotional connections with your children and raise them to thrive, no matter what happens with your family structure, because, as you've probably found out, things don't always wind up how you thought they were going to be. Here's how we're structuring the series as of now, and this is obviously subject to change as we go along.

Speaker 1: 2:12

There are 10 episodes that I'm planning on, each one building on the last, so you can follow along chronologically as we're building up the knowledge Interspersed in these episodes. I'm hoping we're going to have some guests to come and talk with us about this material and provide their insights as well. So, first episode the foundations of emotional development and attachment. Episode two the structures of the emotional brain and how they develop. Episode three attachment theory and why it matters. Episode four healing adult attachment and internal family system issues. Episode five navigating emotional needs post-separation Six emotion coaching for parents and co-parents. We'll be touching back on some of that emotion coaching information we had from John Gottman before. Episode seven co-regulation and building resilience through connection. Episode eight the power of play and emotional development. Episode nine, co-parenting without drama, collaborative discipline Harken back to some of that no drama discipline material we covered previously. And episode 10, creating a legacy of emotional intelligence for your children. So these episodes are going to have a mix, a mix of emotional intelligence for your children. So these episodes are going to have a mix, a mix of science-based explanations, real-world examples and really actionable tips that you can start using.

Speaker 1: 3:35

Obviously, I'm a scientist and so I want to give you a peek into who the experts are behind the information that I'm going to be using in this series. So this series is really really rooted in the research and insights of some pretty leading experts in child development, neuroscience and parenting, and here are the folks that we're going to be relying on. Dr Alan Shore is really a pioneer in affective neuroscience and attachment theory. His research on how early interactions shape the developing brain is well-established and respected and is foundational to the series. His book, the Development of the Unconscious Mind, is a major resource that I'm going to be relying on in the next few episodes. Unconscious mind is a major resource that I'm going to be relying on in the next episodes.

Speaker 1: 4:21

Dr John Gottman we've talked about before. He is a psychologist, emotional relationship expert and author of Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child. He's going to help us bring in some of these practical tools for teaching kids about emotional intelligence and managing conflict. Dr Robert Emery is the author of Two Homes, one Childhood. Dr Emery is from the University of Virginia and he's got really, really powerful insights into managing separation and creating stability for children in shared parenting situations. We've talked about no drama discipline before. Dr Tina Payne Bryson is one of the co-authors of that. We're going to look at her guidance on how to discipline in ways that nurture emotional development instead of harming it, and we're going to have more tools this time to think about what she's telling us in the context of how a child's emotional brain develops. Then Richard C Schwartz is the creator of the internal family systems idea. He's going to give us information that helps us to deal with our own emotional wounds and our own inner dynamics and think about how they influence both our parenting and our co-parenting.

Speaker 1: 5:36

Never heard of internal family systems. Not everybody loves it, but I think it's a really practical, realistic way of thinking about ourselves and the sort of different parts of ourselves. You can sort of think of it this way you may be on a diet and you really don't want that extra piece of cake because you're on a diet, but your willpower gets tempted and at some point some part of you is like well, why can't we have the cake? You know, you have these two different pieces of yourself kind of at war within yourself. Sometimes that is a overly simplistic example of internal family systems, but we're going to get into that in way more detail and I think you'll probably find some resonance with yourself and how you feel, how you interact with your co-parent and how you parent. Think about it at least partially, through this context of internal family systems.

Speaker 1: 6:31

So these experts that I've described are really foundational to the series. They're providing the information. It's not coming from me, obviously. In terms of this research-based information. The episodes will also incorporate other stories, real-life applications, maybe additional research along the way to help make the concepts that we're discussing more practical and more relatable. So I feel like this series is going to be really helpful because the way that we parent today shapes our children's futures.

Speaker 1: 7:05

If you doubt that at all. Just think about how you were parented and whether you wish some things maybe could have been done differently, if some of the parenting that you received has maybe caused you some difficulty in your adult relationships and your feelings of adequacy, your feelings of whether you deserve to be loved Lots of different ways in which the way that we are raised winds up affecting us and how we pass it on generationally to our children and their children. Dr Shore put it really well. He said Through early years, they're not just the foundation of a child's emotional brain, they're the foundation of their lifelong capacity for relationships, resilience and emotional health. Parenting is one of the most challenging and one of the most rewarding roles you're ever going to have. But when you understand how your own actions influence your child's emotional and brain development, you start to get the tools to parent more effectively, even in difficult situations like separation or having some shared custody.

Speaker 1: 8:11

The series isn't about parents being perfect. It's about parents having the information that they need to help them be intentional. It's about learning and growing and showing they need to help them be intentional. It's about learning and growing and showing up for your kids in ways that help them feel safe, feel loved and ready to face the world. So, as we do this, in each episode we're going to hopefully have some pretty engaging explanations, breaking down the science into some simple, relatable concepts. And, trust me, if I can present it to you, it must be simple and relatable. And I have read these books, and I have read these books now multiple times, trying to make sure that I can understand what they're saying. I have real life examples and have actionable tips.

Speaker 1: 8:54

Every episode is going to have steps that you can take to apply what you've learned in your parenting and your co-parenting. Along the way, I'll also share additional resources, like other books, to help you dive deeper into the topics if you want to explore them further. So this is the Co-Parent Academy podcast. So this podcast is intended to be especially relevant for co-parents. Separation and shared parenting always will bring unique challenges, but they also offer opportunities to show your kids what resilience, collaboration and love can look like. So if you have ever struggled with managing your emotions during transitions, with communicating with your co-parent, with creating consistency between your households, this series can help with that. It might give you some tools that you'll find really useful.

Speaker 1: 9:48

Here's how I think you can get the most out of this podcast series. First, I would listen in order. Each of the episodes really is going to be building on the previous ones, so listening in sequence will help you get the full picture. So if you're coming into it a little bit late, you know if you're coming in later in the series, since the first time you're listening to us, then I would go back and I would start at episode one of the series. You may find it helpful to take notes.

Speaker 1: 10:13

A lot of this information is really dense, especially some of the stuff we're going to get into with Swartz, with Dr Shore, with Dr Emery. A lot of that information is dense. So it may be helpful to take some information down and if you're into it, if you're open to the idea of journaling, you may even journal some after an episode about how it's making you feel like, how does it connect with your life, what's it making you think of from your own history and how can it be useful to you. Take that reflection time to apply this information to your own parenting and your own co-parenting. Then, if you find it useful, invite your co-parent, your partner, other caregivers, other family members to listen with you, maybe talk about how this information connects with you and with your life. This kind of shared understanding can strengthen your parenting team if you have that kind of relationship with your co-parent where maybe you'd both be open to having a conversation about it. So I know this is a little different approach than what I've taken in the past to starting a series. This is a little bit more structured.

Speaker 1: 11:22

I've taken some significant time over the last month to think about what it is that I want to present in this series. I think this is a profoundly important topic. We very often are damaging our children unintentionally because we don't understand how their brains develop. We don't understand how they build their emotional capacities to be in relationships with others, both as children and as adults. Without that knowledge, we are unintentionally hurting our kids. I'm hoping that this podcast series is an opportunity for you to at least start thinking about those things and then maybe go off on your own, get some additional resources and figure out more of this for yourself. Whoever you are, who's listening to this, thank you for listening to this podcast series. Thank you for caring enough to find out what our kids need Together. The goal is to bring up a new generation of resilient, emotionally intelligent kids. So thank you very much and we'll be back next week with Episode 1. Have a great week.