#4 - Coparenting with Kim and Kanye + Pete

Ron Gore: 0:23

Well, I was gonna ask you how your weekend was, but since. We spent pretty much the whole weekend together. I don't

Linda VanValkenburg: 0:28

Boy does seem like it. We're not having weekends anymore.

Ron Gore: 0:32

No, no, we're just working on our one true love.

Linda VanValkenburg: 0:36

So I figured this morning, it was kind of like my weekend. I was, you know, trying to get everything done in three hours. Yep. And therefore more things crowded in there. So yeah,

Ron Gore: 0:46

I agree. Although Rebecca and I spent a few hours watching the TV show servant on HBO.

Rebecca Gore: 0:52

Oh, my gosh, I think it's on Apple TV.

Linda VanValkenburg: 0:56

I do wanna see that.

Ron Gore: 0:57

It is so good. It's so good. No, the first the first season.

Rebecca Gore: 1:01

I think this is the third season. Yeah. On the we're on right now,

Ron Gore: 1:04

the first season was not super great.

Rebecca Gore: 1:06

But we found ourselves being, like, completely glued to the show while saying to each other. This isn't very good, but I cannot stop watching it.

Ron Gore: 1:17

Well, at first I was kind of thinking it's M. Night Shyamalan. So I was wondering when is it going to mess up?

Rebecca Gore: 1:22

Well, and it's funny, too, because it's one of those shows where you're not even really quite sure. All of the different symbols that you're seeing like, every single scene you feel like you could he could do like a conference like meeting on and like talk about like her wallpaper. Like there's just so much about it. Like that keeps you wanting to know more, but this season is bonkers.

Ron Gore: 1:43

And if you get into watching the third season, trying to figure out the architecture of the house, because it does not make sense. Yeah, I know, I know. We've all watched shows were like there's a picture of the outside of the house, and then I open the door and you're just like, can't be the same. That is not the same. But I agree it is. So over the top in this house, the set. There are what style on Windows. So funny enough in the house, the location is really like a character in the show. So you would think they would pay attention a little bit more. It's a brownstone in Philadelphia, I believe. And so it clearly it's not an end unit. Right. So it's clearly only has a front and a back. The other sides are other homes. Right? And there are windows, they're just everywhere in this house. There are windows. light streaming in it is wild. But that's also that also makes it fun! I mean, it's it's a really good show.

Rebecca Gore: 2:43

Yeah. So that's what we've been watching over and over again...

Ron Gore: 2:47

speaking of shows that she can watch over and over again. Today, we're going to get into talking about Kim and Kanye a little bit more. There's been some updates and some hopeful, hopeful news on the horizon. I don't know.

Rebecca Gore: 3:01

Yeah, from the co parenting like standpoint, we saw some positive at least from optically, you know, from public opinion, or what we can see on the TMZ Daily Mail and all that seems to be positive.

Ron Gore: 3:15

And for the so we have our CO Parent Academy and on the academy, these podcasts were the video and not just the audio. So if you're just listening to the podcast, this won't mean anything to you because you're not seeing the video anyway. But Rebecca again refuses to be on video.

Rebecca Gore: 3:27

I don't see the point of it.

Linda VanValkenburg: 3:29

So if you're wondering who we're looking at...

Rebecca Gore: 3:31

There's not enough room. And you know what, lots of podcasts have a person off to the side, even videoed ones that is not on? You know, on camera.

Ron Gore: 3:40

Well, next week, I'll be off to the side.

Rebecca Gore: 3:42

I've already reserved that spot. Oh, yes.

Linda VanValkenburg: 3:45

It's really sad that she's the youngest and the best looking at the group.

Rebecca Gore: 3:48

So look at that history that we're giving everyone gonna be so mysterious.

Ron Gore: 3:54

Alright. So before we get to maybe the improvement in the Kim and Kanye situation. Can you Rebecca run us through how it kind of hit a low point?

Rebecca Gore: 4:03

Yeah. So if you haven't, you know, been on planet Earth or under a rock. If you've been under a rock or maybe you've been to the moon, I don't know where you've been. But if you've not been here, Kim and Kanye were married for a while, have several children. They in recent history have separated and gotten a divorce. And it took a turn when Kanye sort of started really publicly talking about their personal life on a pretty intense level. Whether it be talking about things that you didn't approve of that the children were doing or attacking, boyfriends of Kim, things like that. And

Ron Gore: 4:44

this is our Kim and Kanye part two. So we do have an earlier podcast that we talked about it right more, more in depth, but that's kind of where we were like he had, you know, gone on. It seemed like anyone that was sort of coming to Kim's defense, he would do a separate attack on his Instagram and now because of one of those attacks, he's been suspended from Instagram, so we haven't really seen a lot from him lately. Typically, he would do that like dump of several posts, they would be up some of them would be like wild and then they would all be gone again. That was kind of his MO to like flood his Instagram. Let it stay up for like 12 have hours or so and then either by someone suggesting you remove it, or maybe he decided himself to remove it, everything would be gone. So his Instagram is either eight posts or zero posts and like flooding the Instagram, I think is like an apt analogy, because you sort of picture in my mind I'm picturing like a tidal wave that comes in and is carrying all this debris and cars and parts of a building just all this wreckage that's happening in these floodwaters I think too that one of the things that's a little bit unfortunate about that, I mean, I think as someone who is in like the public eye, he would, you would think he would prefer to be private, but that that's not his sort of Mo in life. And you know, what one could argue that exactly been private, it's not super private. So you know, sometimes it's hard to pick and choose where you're going to be private. But what I think is unfortunate is that some of the things that he's been saying, really seem to be like, things that people would normally be concerned about, like so you know, his daughter being on Tik Tok that was a big thing for him that he kept posting on Instagram about how he didn't feel that was appropriate. Of course, with him, then he took it way too far. And just, it doesn't end up helping him.

Linda VanValkenburg: 6:33

But it is a really cool issue. And that's what I like about as talking about this is, you know, it's, they have typical issues that we deal with, too, you know, the Tik Tok thing comes up so often, you know, I was doing a co parenting session the other day, and Tik Tok was a probably 20 minute part of that co parenting session.

Rebecca Gore: 6:54

Yeah, and you can, you can definitely feel like if you're a parent who is not wanting something to happen, you are really analyzing what the other side is doing. And let's just say she wasn't intentionally trying to antagonize him. It, you know, it's really hard not to feel antagonized. When one parent is doing something so publicly, with your kids, even if there's no ill intention, like, you know, a few days after he talked about her being on Instagram, or Tik Tok, she had their little other little girl on Instagram, dancing. And so it's like, you know, is she just having fun and just really not thinking about this, or I mean, she antagonizing him, it's so hard.

Ron Gore: 7:35

Well, except for the fact that she is an entire team and a multi billion dollar media empire that is carefully thought out. So I have a feeling she wasn't just having fun. But I mean, one could argue that he, you know, potentially should be having a team helping him to sure these people should, should have checkers, and then checkers on the checkers. Now, the other things that is I feel like a common complaint or issue that CO parents have is about the education of their children. And, you know, he was pretty vocal a few weeks ago, because he doesn't like the school that their children go to. And I don't know if he doesn't like it just because he just wants to be against everything that she's doing, or if he has some sort of reason that he really doesn't want them to go to school there. But he, you know, vocalized that on Instagram and even said, you know, he accused the men in their family and all the boyfriends and or husbands that they have no say that when he was talking about the school in general, but are in specifically but he was talking more, you know, in general about the guys that you know, I've talked to Tristan, I've talked to I can't remember Kylie's boyfriend's name. Anyways, all the boys that apparently they don't have much say as to what goes on. And so I know you guys run into that. I mean that, you know, people being upset about where their kids are going to school, you know, what about that school? I can't imagine they're sending them to some sort of bad school. Well,

Rebecca Gore: 8:59

it's it's called Sierra Canyon. I think I think it's just a private school in Calabasas. You know, I mean, maybe I'm not sure why he didn't go into why he doesn't like the school.

Linda VanValkenburg: 9:09

Well, if it's just, you know, public or private schools that they're choosing from, I'm sure there's still, you know, different opinions as to where they'd like for them to go.

Ron Gore: 9:16

And I don't think I would want where my kid goes to school publicized that's

Rebecca Gore: 9:20

what I thought was interesting. That's why we're what we're seeing from him is that he's not he's not taking into consideration what he's saying, you know, he's, he's passionate about what's going on. He's very upset and he's not surrounding himself with any people that are helping, you know, check him.

Ron Gore: 9:40

Yeah, he seems really almost like sort of a dangerous, not physically dangerous, but like, just an emotionally dangerous person to be around like you and I, Rebecca, we're watching some clip on YouTube of him, like helping produce a record or something. And he does seem to me to be just sort of not aggressive, but you just really seem to me to be difficult to have a conversation with very much gonna be that he knows exactly what's going on. And I can't imagine trying to sit down and have a linear conversation with him about any of these issues. offline and having any sort of degree of confidence that it's not going to make its way in an altered version online somewhere?

Rebecca Gore: 10:34

Yeah. He doesn't seem to be. I mean, I don't know, he has collaborations professionally, but he doesn't seem to be very collaborative. You know, conversation type of person, you know, like, that you really feel like you're going to get somewhere or that you can take when you leave that you feel like, okay, we've decided on something, this is what we're going to do. I mean, I don't know, clearly, we're seeing, you know, his side, pretty loudly. But getting to the co parenting thing happened this weekend. So he's been kind of silenced on social media lately, because of some racial slurs that he used against a person who was talking or giving a commentary on what he thought was going on with them. So he's been silenced for a little bit. But this weekend, he was at the soccer game of his I believe it was his son. And it the both of them were there, they were next to each other the whole time. They were, you know, he was videoing, he seemed to be smiling. You know, it didn't, there weren't any pictures of them, you know, talking to each other. Not that they didn't. But you know, that wasn't captured. But they seem to, I mean, they were closer than the two of you guys are Wow, together for, you know, soccer games, I think about an hour, usually 15 minute quarters, you know, for little kids especially. So they were there at the game together. Which means one of his issues is that she doesn't communicate with them. She doesn't tell him when things are where things are, which is a totally normal problem. Yes. So maybe if that's a you know, really something that was going on? Maybe she's stepping up a little bit and communicating with him?

Ron Gore: 12:10

Or maybe this is always the response to that. Maybe Kanye has decided to use his millions and millions and millions of dollars to find out what the soccer schedule is, to independently determine where and when his kids are going to

Rebecca Gore: 12:25

that is something that happens in our office a play. lot. You know, we'll have one of the parents say, well, she or he isn't telling me anything about their school.

Linda VanValkenburg: 12:32

I always say go to the source,

Rebecca Gore: 12:35

you're a parent--now there's power school, there's, you know, if you're sports, sports, there's a lead coach... your spouse isn't the one or your ex spouse isn't the one that is required to provide you, especially or even if that's the way that your life was before?

Linda VanValkenburg: 12:52

Of course, it probably was people delineate different jobs within a marriage. But it's, it's really different when in especially if you feel like, well, kind of accidentally on purpose. They didn't tell me which field it had changed too, or if there was a change in time. And so, you know, I've heard lots of dads say that they wound up at the wrong field, wrong time, it wasn't happening. And they had the information, it just wasn't the most up to the minute information. And many times those things get changed at the last minute. So you've got to be on the text or email line to or check the site or something all the time.

Rebecca Gore: 13:29

And I think to it, we see on the on the flip side of that when you know, the sports are involved, sometimes the mom will say, Oh, I'm not taking them to that sporting event when I have them. You know, so you know, it just depends on maybe it depends on what parent is driving the sport, there could be some animosity related to the sport. Sure. So we have it on both both sides, either people not being informed, or people deciding to hold that against them. And then they run into all kinds of problems with that. If they're not participating in all the games, they get penalized--

Linda VanValkenburg: 13:59

And the poor child, you know, I'm things like that... listening to the child who's who's saying, you know, I was all ready to go and then we didn't go or you know, so and so won't take me to whatever. And then coach won't play me the next time or if like the young kids had a little girl recently that told me she has to run the bleachers if she doesn't make the game, well, it's not her fault she's not making the game. And so then the child is the one getting penalized. I don't think the parents even think about that.

Ron Gore: 14:26

The kids focus on fairness. So very much!

Rebecca Gore: 14:29

Speaking of the kids, kind of rounding it back to the pictures that we saw this weekend with Kanye, it was so over the top. I mean, the kids were hanging off of him, then they were like, so excited. They were like trying to climb up him at points. You know, it was definitely not like one camp over here. And like, Oh, he's here, but don't talk to him or whatever. You know, they really seem to genuinely be excited to see him and like with smiles on their faces, which I think says a lot!

Linda VanValkenburg: 15:00

well that tells you what Kim has been like in terms of allowing them because I mean, kids tell me that they'll be sitting beside their mom or dad at a at a game whoever's property they are that particular time or weekend or whatever, and that that parent will literally take their head and turn it back to look at the field instead of the parents sitting over always on the bleachers.

Rebecca Gore: 15:23

I thought it was a really sweet moment. I don't know what, you know, obviously, we don't know what the behind the scenes of it is. But I just thought it seemed like a nice change in the right direction from what we've been hearing over the last few months.

Ron Gore: 15:34

Well, maybe he's back on his medications. Yeah.

Rebecca Gore: 15:36

Yeah, maybe, you know, and at the same time, I mean, we keep talking about Kanye, which it's very easy to do, because he is really over the top and inappropriate in some ways. But you know, Kim is also surrounded by people that are paid to tell her nothing, but yes, and you're correct, and sure and all of that. And so, you know, and she is also part of extremely controlled, really, really materialistic, you know, visual family. And optics are really important to her. And so, you know, I'm sure she has this web of everything that she's trying to orchestrate all the time, which is can never be helpful, even if you are the most wonderful co parent, that's got to drive you mad.

Ron Gore: 16:17

Well, a follow up when Linda was saying, the fact that the kids felt comfortable enough to go over and do that. And the fact that she let it happen, right, really does speak volumes, because of the way he's been acting, she could easily have a court order. No word--isn't gonna be around them at all.

Rebecca Gore: 16:33

Yeah. And she's sitting in one of those little folding camp chairs, you know, that we all use, you know, one of those like, little parents backpack chairs, and he's standing like, right next to her, you know, at least for a long period of time. You know, he's videoing and the kids are happy. And they don't really show pictures of them, looking at each other or anything like that. And she doesn't look really, really thrilled. But she doesn't look angry. You know what I mean? You could tell that he is over the moon, or at least you seems to be over the moon to be able to be there and the kids are really enjoying it.

Ron Gore: 17:07

that's fantastic!

Linda VanValkenburg: 17:08

That is the best case scenario for them-- for any for any ex couple. I think it really is.

Rebecca Gore: 17:14

Yeah. And another topic we can discuss having to do with Kim and Kanye is Kim's significant other Pete Davidson.

Ron Gore: 17:23

Yeah. Other I don't know what category to put him in. He's an interesting guy.

Rebecca Gore: 17:28

One would argue that he is like the hot catch of the town, like with all the people that he has dated the last year and a half, two years.

Ron Gore: 17:36

But what is it that everyone's catching from having contact?

Rebecca Gore: 17:40

allegedly? I don't know. I mean, I don't know. . I'm not good at being... I don't really find him to be all that great. But

Ron Gore: 17:49

well, more power to him. But here's the concern is just in the context of the co parenting we've got this guy who himself is quite a character who's coming into the house, and you would imagine is going to be around the kids at some point. Maybe he's being very carefully kept from the children. But I think you were telling me that that's something that Kanye was concerned about.

Rebecca Gore: 18:13

Yeah. And one of the posts. I can't I guess it's on Instagram. I don't remember. They've all been taken down. But it talked about how he doesn't want, you know, Pete to be around the kids and he's afraid. He even said I'm afraid that he's going to get Kim hooked on drugs. You know, and I think it's because, you know, Kim is a mom, you know, Kim is who she is. But Pete is, like really big into marijuana like, and so I think, you know, she, he, he was worried about her getting, you know, influenced him to maybe doing drugs and things like that being around him. But I mean, especially, you'd be worried about the kids. And on a weird side note. He apparently in one of the pictures had Kim's name tattooed on Pete Davidson had kittens Kim's name tattooed on his chest. And this is from an inappropriate like, exchange that he and Kanye West apparently had. This is where that picture came from. But what was funny was, Kim went on Ellen, and talked about that. It wasn't a tattoo. It was a brand. He branded himself with her name. That's an extreme move.

Ron Gore: 19:26

Well, she is brand focused! She's always on brand.

Rebecca Gore: 19:30

She is on brand. Literally. Yeah, she's on brand.

Ron Gore: 19:35

So that doesn't help the case that it's going to be a perfectly sort of normal relationship. Although maybe longevity. Maybe he stays because he's bigger as well. I branded myself.

Rebecca Gore: 19:49

I think, though, that he typically gets tattoos of like, his girlfriend's names on him. So I don't know that. I mean, when you're talking about the volume of tattoos that this person has, I don't know that it really matters. Like you know, like, oh, we can't break up. I'm sorry. I've got your name tattooed. I don't really think he cares.

Ron Gore: 20:07

Linda, would you want his body as a journal?

Rebecca Gore: 20:12

This is from 19-- You know 85...

Linda VanValkenburg: 20:16

I was just about to ask if the dates were there. Cuz, you know, I used to teach journaling and that was my main thing is you got to date it. So hello....

Ron Gore: 20:23

Maybe they can test the ink? So if the kids aren't around him a lot. I know that you were saying that the social media images make it look like she's with him a lot somewhere. So that brings up the question of who's got the kids?

Rebecca Gore: 20:38

Yeah, I mean, that's an age old issue that you guys have, you know, you'll find out that when one party has been gone, or whatever, and the other spouse hasn't had the opportunity to watch the children, right.

Linda VanValkenburg: 20:50

And it's, also--it's funny, because I, I'd seen, you know, the, the two of them together in a picture and thought, wow, that's kind of quick. And these children always tell me that it seems, way too soon, is that the words I've heard over and over again, from different age children, it's just too soon that, you know, we leave, the children aren't finished grieving the loss of the family as they knew it. And so it once again, is very similar to what we see in in our real world situations, you know, people that aren't millionaires, but it's-- the children need a chance and so many times is because the adults have done their grieving, or at least one of them has, because they know they're moving on, before the children are told... hopefully, before the children run into the news on their phone--if they're playing a game on their parent's phone and a text comes in from the new boyfriend--or CNN in this case? Yes. But it's, you know, there are lots of ways the children in our kinds of families find it out, too. And it's, I know, it's really difficult for parents who are trying to start over again, to figure out when to start dating or when-- because they asked me, you know, and or when to introduce the child to your kids. You know, you don't want to get in too deep in love with somebody that it's not gonna work out very well, with your kids. And you. I mean, because it's hard enough just to start a new relationship period, if there aren't any children involved. You know, with me, I've had to worry about my dog.

Rebecca Gore: 22:35

And I know, I know that most of their kids, they have four kids, and I think, I don't know, I'm just guessing, but I think only one of them's old enough that's like really able to probably engage, and like kind of really have their finger on what's going on. But I mean, what do you think about this optically, like, so she decides to date, Pete Davidson, which, you know, very different character than Kanye West. And Kanye West is dating someone who isn't like a industry person, like another famous person. She is, I think, well, well known in New York for whatever she does. But she literally looks like she could be paid to be a Kim Kardashian impersonator. She looks almost identical. And, and in fact, she posts pictures on her Instagram, that are just like pictures that Kim has posted social pics, like a picture of herself on a black dress with like, these really specific sunglasses. And so the media will be like, Oh, this is just like the picture of Kim. And she looks so much like her it is out of this world, like so. It's a very, I don't know, I feel like they're starting over

Linda VanValkenburg: 23:42

Somebody will come in, you know, at the with the same.... tail end of their first marriage with their kids that are going through a divorce. And then in a few months, they're coming in with the step mom? And I'm like, Could we have found anyone closer looking? You know? And then, you know, sometimes even I've seen a third down the road, in the same case that they are picking somebody exactly like the first two.

Rebecca Gore: 24:10

Well, and I think the narrative that it the thing that makes the narrative a little bit more confusing, too, is because when they were married, like fully married, I feel like they've kind of been almost divorced for a while. But when they were really together, he was constantly like publicly criticizing the way that she dressed saying that it was too inappropriate. He shouldn't be showing this much skin, things like that.

Ron Gore: 24:32

So if you didn't know she was before?

Rebecca Gore: 24:36

I don't know, it just I don't know how it exactly all fits together. But I just think is another interesting nugget as to what is going on.

Ron Gore: 24:46

I mean, that's always a red flag when you've got the man telling the woman how to dress. Especially when it comes to revealing skin. That's such a such a red flag.

Rebecca Gore: 24:56

Well, in just revealing any kind of personal information that you know, that your spouse would not be okay with. I mean, I think this kind of started one could one could imagine that, that this all started with him talking about her, you know, having a conversation about ending their first pregnancy, you know, and it was just sort of like, okay, well, I can't trust this person anymore. Who knows what they'll say, like we've got to get out of here.

Linda VanValkenburg: 25:23

Wow, that's part of the deal with marriage or, or just very close relationship is, you know, you've you've given them enough, enough information to really hurt you with.

Ron Gore: 25:35

Yeah, that's why I don't tell Rebecca anything.

Rebecca Gore: 25:38

Ron and I never speak to each other --in fact, I don't know anything about you.

Linda VanValkenburg: 25:44

And then there'll be a deposition with an attorney like you, who has all that lovely stuff to dredge up and ask the other person about,

Ron Gore: 25:52

for good or for ill.

Rebecca Gore: 25:54

Yeah, I mean, I think regardless, I mean, some, you know, obviously, their their stories are over the top outlandish whatever, but it really just goes to show you if nothing else, that it doesn't matter how rich you are. Everybody has trouble co parenting,

Linda VanValkenburg: 26:07

so many of the same issues. And -- you can't tell me that those children especially, you know, picturing the kids climbing all over him. I mean, they're just being normal kids. We've talked so much about, you know, the people, the team that should be controlling either of the parents, but yeah, those kids were just being kids, in the middle of it. They really are. They're just being children who want to be able to enjoy both of their parents-- who want to be loved-- And know that they can love both of their parents without restraint.